When you think of spring break, you may think of people in swimsuits, alcohol and nightly social events. two people watching a movie

No matter if your vacation resembles an episode of the Jersey Shore or a quiet staycation at home, if your partner is headed somewhere else, this may be a tricky time in your relationship. We have thoughts on how to make sure your vacation is relaxing and without relationship drama.

First, start the conversation with your partner. Let them know that you want to talk, just so you know where you’ll stand while being apart for the week. Let them know that you trust them, but you just want to know what’s up.

Take a minute to reaffirm your partner and your relationship. If you’re going to miss the other person, say it. Let them know that you’re having this talk because you care about each other, not because you’re feeling weird about the idea of being apart.

Ask what their expectations for you are, explain your expectations for them — this could be that you would rather them not be alone in a hotel room with someone of the opposite sex, or that you talk a certain amount while apart.

Figure out how you want to keep in touch. Is texting enough or do you want to schedule some Skype/FaceTime chats in too? Will your partner be able to be reached, depending on where he or she is going? You don’t want to find this out once you’ve said your goodbyes. Discuss it now while everyone has clear cell phone reception and access to internet.

Tell your partner to have fun. Spring break wasn’t designed to break up solid couples. It’s a week to de-stress, so neither you nor your partner should be freaking out about your relationship during this time. If you’ve set clear expectations, then you’re good to go.

We want to know how you and your partner are planning to handle spring break. Please let us know in the comment field below.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Go Unheard

Friends are those people we spend all of our time with, talk about everything with and with whom we feel the closest. Because of this closeness with our friends, we often know a lot about their personal lives. According to the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 40 percent of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.

Here at loveisrespect, we understand how hard it can be to see a friend in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. It can be difficult to know what to do in that situation. Here are some things you can do for your friend:

Simply talk. Speaking to your friends about what’s going on can be a difficult conversation. If you feel like your friend is in an unhealthy situation, then it may be time for you to speak up against the abuse. Make sure you do it in a safe place and time to avoid potentially dangerous encounters.

Let your friend just talk. Don’t try to fix the situation for him or her. Only they can ultimately end the relationship. Just let your friend know that you will be their nonjudgmental friend who is there to listen. Don’t share what is discussed with anyone else. It may be dangerous for your friend if word gets out and makes it way back to the abuser.

Focus on their needs. Find out what it is your friend needs at that moment in their life, and help them get it. If they say they need space, give them space. Sometimes they’ll just need someone to listen and not try and give advice. Doing things with your friend that you find enjoyable can be an excellent way to make them feel better.

Educate them. Find out what you can about their specific situation. Call, text or chat with us, and we’ll be happy to help you. You can check out our page on helping a friend. If you give them all the information you can gather and leave them with the resources to get help, then you’ve empowered them in a huge way. Give them a card with our information on it, so that they can talk to a peer advocate when their ready.

Act natural. When a friend knows that you’re there for them, sometimes that’s all the help they need. Don’t try and treat your friend any differently than you always have. The additional or altered attention they receive could just make the situation harder. Be the you that your friend knows in order to keep things as normal as possible in their life.

Staying calm and collected when finding out about a friend’s unhealthy relationship is really important. Don’t forget that you could always direct your friend to us. We are here all day, everyday and we are more than happy to help anyone in an unhealthy relationship.

Inside the Advocate’s Studio: Samantha, Round 2

Our Communications intern Samantha checks in and tells us what it was like to go through advocate training.

We have learned so many things within the past few weeks, and after each session I leave feeling more aware of the world and the people who surround me.

I’ve mentioned before that I think a lot of the communication skills that we employ here can easily be translated to other aspects of my life, and that opinion remains the same. I think that the listening skills, the ability to put my judgments aside and the ability to be supportive that we’ve learned will really be beneficial in my interpersonal relations.

I think that one of the most important things that I have come away with is that each and every person is unique and so their situation, their life and their trials are unique. I know that in my last post I mentioned that we talk a lot about meeting people where they are, but I really don’t think that I, or the trainers, can stress the importance of that enough. We have to talk to them on their level, about things that they are experiencing, in a way which they are receptive of.

We also talk about being supportive and nonjudgmental, which I think is extremely important. We really want people who reach out to us to know that they are going to be listened to, that they aren’t going to be judged and that we are truly here to support them and their decisions. We want them to know that they can turn to us if they need help.

One of our main focuses when we’re helping callers, chatters and texters is to ensure that they are safe. We do a lot of safety planning with the people who contact us. We try to come up with plans of action to help them protect themselves physically and emotionally. This could be tips like staying away when their partner is in a bad mood, or even more serious tips like how to avoid being hit in their body’s most vulnerable places. We want to help them protect themselves.

We also try to help set up support networks for victims. We talk to them about who they feel comfortable talking to, or who they trust. We try to let them know about abuse programs in their neighborhoods or schools, so that they can set up a support network.

We even talk to people who think they might be abusive. We try to give them resources and information so that they can make decisions about their behavior. But we never judge them because we realize how hard it is for them to reach out and say, “Hey, I have this problem and I want to change.”

All of this is stuff that I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t gone through advocate training, so I’m extremely grateful that I was able to participate in these sessions.

Verizon Supports Launch of loveisrespect.org, the Ultimate Resource to Help Protect Teens and Young Adults From Dating Abuse

Austin, TX, Feb. 29, 2012 — loveisrespect.org received a 250,000 grant from HopeLine from Verizon and the Verizon Foundation to launch the most comprehensive resource available helping young people build healthy relationships. The donation is one of the first from the private sector supporting loveisrespect.org, a unique partnership between Break the Cycle, a leading national nonprofit working to end teen dating violence and abuse, and the National Dating Abuse Helpline.

With support from Verizon, a global leader in delivering broadband and other wireless and wireline communications services to consumer, business, government and wholesale customers, loveisrespect.org is leveraging the power of technology to help end dating abuse among teens and young adults, ages 13-24. Loveisrespect.org combines 24-hour online chat, phone and text service with the most comprehensive resource to engage, educate and empower teens and young adults online and off.

“Verizon has been a leading corporate supporter of domestic violence prevention for more than a decade. Through this grant, we can effectively use technology to reach more teens and young adults, and also ensure they can quickly and easily reach us in a time of crisis,” said Dyanne Purcell , CEO, National Dating Abuse Helpline.

The critical importance of addressing dating abuse early and via technology has caught the attention of many. Vice President Joe Biden sent the inaugural text message, announcing that anyone can get immediate help by texting LOVEIS to 77054.

Lupita Reyes , Verizon Foundation director, said: “Verizon is continually looking for innovative ways to use our technology and our network to solve some of the world’s greatest challenges. We are proud and committed to broadening access to immediate help and educational resources through loveisrespect.org. And we are grateful for the tremendous leadership in the field – from Vice President Biden to the veteran advocates at Break the Cycle and the National Dating Abuse Helpline – who have rallied around this approach.”

Verizon’s grant funds an independent, third-party evaluation of the impact of loveisrespect.org. This research will help improve the ongoing crisis services and grow the extensive library of resources and tools at loveisrespect.org.

“Research shows that one in three teens experience dating abuse, so it is especially exciting to bring this service to all those affected by this epidemic. Through loveisrespect.org, we can offer an alternative to violence and abuse,” said Marjorie Gilberg, executive director of Break the Cycle.

Through HopeLine, Verizon accepts no-longer-used wireless phones, batteries and accessories from any provider and turns them into support for domestic violence victims and survivor. Teens who want to hold their own cell phone collection drive can learn more at www.verizonwireless.com/hopeline.

Dribbling Toward a Better Future

We’ve talked about stickers and shoelaces, but how about bringing awareness to Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM) through your socks? Five high school basketball teams in East basketball players

Hampton, New York have taken this forgotten footwear and made it a showpiece.

These high school teams have partnered with The Retreat, a domestic violence services agency, to help draw attention to dating abuse. Basketball players will be donning purple knee-high socks with The Retreat’s logo printed on the side for all home games during the month of February.

“As leaders in the school, athletes have the power to set the bar,” said Cristina Horan, an educator at The Retreat, in an interview with the Southampton Patch. “In wearing purple socks today, the boy’s basketball team is making it known that violence will not be tolerated in their school.”

The basketball players hope that by making this change all of the people who attend their games will take notice of this important issue.

Just like changing your shoelaces, putting on colorful socks is a quick and inexpensive way to make a big impact. If you wear purple socks you can catch the attention of your friends, family and classmates.

Partial to your toe socks? Don’t wear socks at all? That’s ok! You can still participate. You can wear a purple shirt or purple pants or purple jewelry. Your fashion statement can be a social statement and when people ask you about your unique socks you can tell them all about TDVAPM.

Are you doing something unique or wacky to participate in TDVAPM? We want to hear all about it. Let us know in the comment field below.

Flashy Fashion for a Cause

How do we start conversations about dating abuse? Some Texas students might suggest sparking change one step at a time. Students throughout Austin, Texas will be sporting purple shoelaces at athletic events basketball player shooting

during Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM).

A local sheriff’s department has teamed up with six school districts throughout the area to raise awareness of teen dating abuse.

Austin, Del Valle, Eanes, Lake Travis, Manor and Pflugerville school districts will be participating in this initiative to get teens talking about dating abuse.

Since purple is the official color of domestic violence, varsity athletes will lace up to make a statement about the dangers of abuse for teens.

School faculty and administrators will be making special announcements during the events to focus attention on and get students talking about the issue.

Changing your shoelaces is a quick, easy and inexpensive way to make an impact. You can turn your shoes into a conversation piece. When your friends ask you why you’re sporting purple laces you can talk to them about dating abuse and why this cause is important to you.

Little changes, like wearing purple shoelaces, can make a big difference. How are you participating in TDVAPM?

Putting Passion into Play

Is it possible to use a passion for theatrics to bring awareness to dating abuse? A Nevada high school theater group is doing just that during Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM).

Members of Hug High School’s drama club are putting on a play titled “Fuddy Meers” in order to educate their fellow students.

Structured as a comedy, the play follows a girl named Claire who suffers from a medical condition called psychogenic amnesia. Because of this disorder Claire wakes up every morning with no memory of what happened the day before, or of the abuse that she is suffering.

In an interview with the Reno Gazette-Journal Jauna Rodriguez, a student at Hug, said that the play shows a relationship that seems healthy at first, “but then the get out of hand.” She and her fellow students have seen many relationships like this.

After every performance the actors are joined by advocates from local domestic violence programs, Safe Embrace and the Nevada Network Against Domestic Violence, for a Q&A session. The drama club hopes that this play will bring attention to this issue and wants to provide an outlet for students to ask questions and speak their minds.

“One of the concerns we have is, after the play is presented, there may be some students that identify themselves as victims,” said Cindy Heldenbrand, of Safe Embrace, when interviewed by the Reno Gazette-Journal. “So, we want the students to be aware of how to handle these situations in case it’s one of their friends in one of those situations, but also give the faculty some information.”

The actors at Hug hope that their play will spread awareness in their school. They were able to turn their passion into a play to help give information to their fellow students.

If you like acting you could talk with your drama teacher about putting on a play at your school. If you’re not an actor, you could organize a forum with abuse advocates in your area and invite your classmates. There are plenty of ways that you can get involved during TDVAPM.

What ideas did you have for participating in TDVAPM? Let us know in the comment field below.

Our Thoughts on Rihanna & Chris Brown

There are many articles circulating around the Chris Brown/Rihanna collaborations that have recently released. Instead of offering an official loveisrespect.org statement, we wanted to let our peer advocates, National Youth Advisory Board members and staff sound off about the stories we’ve seen. Ultimately, we hope both Rihanna and Chris Brown find healing. We as an organization want to help anyone on either side of an abusive situation. We’re always here via phone, chat or text.

“I feel that is a very common play in the culture of domestic. We look at these two individuals as something other then normal people trying to figure out life. Yes, they are famous, yes they are role models, however they are also two young people coping with the consequences of domestic violence. We knew about the injuries because Rihanna is in the spotlight; her assault was written loud and clear for the public to judge (which is what we are doing now).” - Holland

“When I think about Chris and Rihanna, I am always frustrated at the backlash that either one of them is receiving in this.

I worry that we are forgetting that a young woman (Rihanna), whose picture we remember bruised and battered, is still recovering inside and will be for the rest of her life. No matter why she refriended, twitter follows or gets back together with Chris, she is someone who didn’t choose to be hurt. In the end, she is a human being, and who we love is who we love, and it takes time to get past a relationship with someone you love.

Maybe that’s why she is going back, but I really care little about that. What I do care about is making certain that in our posts, conversations and thoughts about her, we remember that she is always going to carry a scar that we don’t have to point out to her. She remembers it. We need to care about how we treat anyone who is struggling to regain their footing or dignity after abuse of any kind.

Chris Brown was wrong. What he did was horrific, but I sometimes worry that people’s efforts to destroy him at every opportunity hurts our overall mission to help everyone, especially those that are abusive who are watching these reactions to Chris. People can change and while not all will, we need to produce messages that include the people who choose to use abusive behavior in their relationship. We have to show those who want to change why they can move forward and be a better man or woman.

I agree with a friend who said we need a more organized response to Chris Brown to be effective in holding him accountable to his actions. I believe that he deserves a career, I believe he deserves to be happy, but he also needs to accept that forgiveness comes by always taking the opportunity to accept and assure that he is always trying to work on being a better man. This means admitting that he made a choice to hurt someone and is now making a choice to change.” - Brian

“In regard to celebrities speaking out via Twitter about the Rihanna and Chris Brown situation, I think they should be careful to avoid victim-blaming Rihanna. It can be frustrating to watch someone return to an abusive relationship but it’s important to be there for that person instead of judging them or getting angry with them. One way I think celebrities can help show their support is by speaking out against dating abuse and publicizing resources, like the National Domestic Violence Hotline or loveisrespect.org, that help victims and survivors of dating abuse.” - Sarah

“While it is Rihanna’s personal choice to choose whether or not to let bygones be bygones with Chris Brown, their public reconciliation through collaborating on these new pieces of music may have an unintended effect on fans. As a music star, Rihanna holds a position of influence with today’s adolescents. While the collaboration with Chris may bring in millions in revenue, it also sends out the calamitous message to those who admire her that domestic violence to something that is trivial and easily dismissible.

Basically, she can choose what she wants to do with her life, but as a public figure she should be more mindful of the negative impact she could be having on the millions of people watching her.” - Caiqian

“When I saw the tweets coming from Chris Brown’s fans during the Grammys, I wasn’t shocked — I was disappointed. We’ve come so far in changing attitudes around abuse, but obviously we have a lot more work to do.” - Cristina

“While it is sad to see what Chris Brown did to Rihanna, what is even more disturbing is the perpetuation of this type of behavior in other TV shows, movies and music. Young society will not change their beliefs about what a healthy relationship should look like until better behaviors are modeled. Extreme jealousy and controlling behavior has become the norm because of what is being modeled. It is no wonder these girls would say what they did [responding that they would welcome abuse from Chris Brown] because they think that is acceptable and believe that is what one should put up with in a relationship.

Attacking Chris Brown is not going to help him recognize he needs to change and it will only thrust Rihanna closer to him, just like in any real life abusive relationship. He needs to be held accountable and that begins by people demanding better role models.” - Melissa K.

“I think Chris Brown and Rihanna should not be together physically in the same room even if it is for a musical collaboration. By being together in the same room, it could make it easy to fall back into old habits. I mean, ultimately the decision is hers, but it is setting the wrong example for young girls and women out there who look up to her as a role model for having gone through a similar situation.

How are they [fans in abusive relationships] going to feel when they see that Chris and Rihanna are together, making music? They’re going to feel helpless in a way since this celebrity who is seen as a strong woman is going back to her abuser (maybe not in terms of a relationship). It gives the impression that it is okay to do so — that abusers are capable of change and sometimes they are, but realistically it doesn’t happen often.

Furthermore, it wasn’t too long ago that she released her video/song “We Found Love” and the message of how difficult it is to leave the relationship. Now that there is a collaboration between the two, it could leave a confusing message to viewers.

Either way, it is not the message that should be sent. Ultimately, people need to know the danger of going back to an abuser, not that it is okay to.” - Doan

“The whole situation regarding Rihanna and Chris Brown and their latest musical duet together carries a problematic representation to future generations of our society. Although it troubles me to believe that these musicians should be considered role models in our society, their unique position and celebrity status often presents what is considered the social norm or rather the standard for others to behave.

When a person is a victim of domestic violence and abuse, this must be a very difficult and frustrating position to be in, and the victim may often feel conflicted about what exactly to do. In my opinion, I don’t blame Rihanna for the choices she makes in her life. Leaving an abusive partner and relationship is not an easy task, yet whether knowingly or unknowingly, future generations in our society might be influenced by this incident when they go out and form their own intimate partner relationships.” - Shane

“Responses to the news of Rhianna & Chris Brown’s relationship are all too familiar and frightening. Rhianna is blamed and belittled for her decision to re-enter into a relationship with her abusive ex-boyfriend. As we know, leaving an abuser is difficult and can take many tries. Stating that Rihanna has a mental illness or some sort of weakness for returning to him diminishes the struggles that folks in abusive relationships face.

Claiming that Rihanna has a mental illness, which is causing her to return to Chris Brown, relies on racist stereotypes that black women are psychologically and physiologically inept and therefore deserving of their oppression.” - Lars

“The average domestic violence victim tries leaving 7 times before they do for good. Rihanna just happens to be famous. There is no reason that we should expect her situation to be easier to deal with than that of a normal victim. If anything, the spotlight has to accentuate her pain. Rihanna didn’t ask to be abused. While we want her young fans to know that they deserve a healthy relationship, it’s hard to ask Rihanna to deal with her pain a certain way, just so we can benefit.” -Kelly

“Celebrity or not, both Chris Brown and Rihanna are humans in a relationship. This [situation — a victim returning to an abuser] is constantly happening daily! Rihanna is not alone in the struggle to escape the reoccurring pattern. On a less serious note, really again? Come on girl you can do better than that!” - Isabel

“CM Punk puts the blame squarely where it belongs, on Chris Brown’s shoulders. As a society we need to realize that Rihanna and any victim of interpersonal violence is not to blame in any way, shape or form for the abuse that Chris Brown did to her. And that fact that she has returned to her abuser is something that we as a society should take seriously and also understand is not surprising.

Women on average return to their abuser anywhere from 9-12 times before they finally leave for good. As a community, we need to support Rihanna. If I were a friend of hers, I would tell her that I know it is hard, and I understand that it may take a while, but I will always be here for her when — and if — she decides to leave. I will be there for her in any way I can.

We need to focus on what Chris Brown did and CM Punk is right that cleaning up trash on the side of the road does not make him [Chris] a changed man. Until he understands the dynamics of power and control, he will never be able to treat any woman with respect.” - Melissa S.

“If I could talk to Rihanna, I would tell her that whether she likes it or not, she is a role model, and while her and Chris Brown are adults and can do what they want, the have a certain responsibility to their fans.

It is common for victims of intimate partner violence to return to their abuser, but as observers of Rihanna’s life we should have sympathy for what she experienced and try and understand that there might be more to the story then what we hear in the media. Abuse happens in relationships more often than people realize, and I really hope that Rihanna uses her experience to educate teens and young adults on what resources are out there for them.” - Samantha

“I think the way that everybody is talking about it in the media mirrors the ways in which abuse victims who aren’t famous are subjected to people telling them what to do (“just leave him”) and criticized and blamed for staying and/or going back. However, as someone who has chosen to be a celebrity, she has a somewhat of a responsibility to be a good role model for her young female fans.” - Britney

Inside the Advocate’s Studio: Kenny, Part 3

My nerves are on end as we reach the end of training, and I know that soon I will have to take that first call or chat or text. Even though I’m nervous, I know that I pretty much have all the skills and knowledge to take that huge step. The rest will come with the experience of answering phones and taking chats and texts.

The biggest thing I’ve learned since last time is that all sorts of people call loveisrespect looking for help. Sometimes people in unhealthy relationships don’t know that they are the abusive partner. Actions that may seem caring or worried can come off as clingy or protective. Abusers that call can find out how to make their relationship more comfortable for both partners and keep their relationship healthy.

There are even services called Battering Intervention & Prevention Programs(BIPPs) that abusers can go to and get help about their abusive tendencies. Friends and family members call looking for help for a loved one sometimes, which is so amazing. It’s really hopeful to try and find help for someone who may just be confused or turned down the wrong path.

Change is very real and is very possible. Relationships can change and people in them can change individually. In order for an abuser to change, it’s vital for them to take 100% responsibility for their actions in the past before they move on. People have to realize that abuse is never the victim’s fault, but the fault lies solely with the abuser’s choices.

I know this isn’t everything there is to learn. It’s impossible to teach any person everything there is to know about this subject. I just can’t wait to get on the lines and start helping people, despite my nervousness.

So help me out and help yourselves out by giving us a call, chat or text. There will be a trained peer advocate here to talk to all hours of the day, every day.

High School Ice Hockey with a Heart

Sometimes speaking out about dating abuse is as simple as suiting up for a sports game. This year, a group of high school ice hockey players will be using their favorite sport to bring awareness to dating abuse in honor of Teen Dating Abuse Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM).

At each game, Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School’s ice hockey team will be sporting special stickers designed by assistant coach Max Sherman and Melissa Alderborgh. These stickers feature black text which boldly states, “End DV.”

Each month Coach Sherman encourages the team to dedicate themselves to a new community service project.

The boys view themselves as leaders in their school and community and want to make a difference by standing up for what’s right and spreading information about causes, like dating abuse.

Bringing attention to TDVAPM doesn’t have to be complicated. This resourceful team recognized that they would be the center of attention during the game, and wanted to share the limelight with an important issue. By capitalizing on a moment where they knew they would be seen, this team may have reached a person who was in need. A sticker may be simple, but its impact can be large.

If you’re creative, you could make an impact in a variety of ways. Challenge your friends to a contest to see who can come up with the most creative TDVAPM poster and have a teacher be the judge. Talk to your school’s drama club about putting on a play which brings attention to dating abuse. Create a sticker, button or ribbon which brings awareness to dating abuse.

Not an artiste? No worries, be the person who brings attention to the issue. Are you on the student council? Do you play a sport? Are you in a club? Find a time when you’re in front of the student body and make a statement, even if it’s as simple as incorporating a sticker or funky shoelaces. (embed link). Not the extracurricular type? No worries. You can make an announcement about TDVAPM during lunch, letting your classmate’s know what they can do to participate. Wear a sticker, button or ribbon and tell people what it represents. Hand out educational flyers about the dangers of dating abuse. Everyone can make a difference.

Class in Session: Raising Awareness 101

One in 4 adolescents reports verbal, emotional, physical or sexual dating violence each year. (CDC 2011)Chances are, there’s someone in one of your classes that is in empty classroom

an abusive relationship. You can help them as February, Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention month (TDVAPM), rolls in

Celebrating the month in your school is a great way to spread awareness about dating violence and help that someone in need. Here are some ideas to get started:

Make periodic school announcements. By taking advantage of a school PA system, you can reach a large audience in an easy way. Researching facts about teen dating violence and delivering those facts to your peers via intercom is a simple way of getting them thinking about teen dating violence.

Advertise in the building. Ask for permission to hang posters in busy or crowded areas around the school. You can make your own or download posters and flyers here. Feel free to give out our phone number, 1-866-331-9474, for 24 hours a day assistance and support. The same goes if they text “loveis” to 22522. Posting these numbers around the school may give a classmate the resource they need.

Use technology. Make a PowerPoint presentation with statistics, stories and resources and get it posted on your school’s website. Create a public service announcement about teen dating violence so students have a visual representation of the message that is accessible at any time. There are plenty of PSAs already on youtube for some ideas.

Ask teachers to discuss dating abuse in class. Give teachers the materials to inform your peers about teen dating violence. The official TDVAPM website containseducation resources. If teachers presented the information in class, it would be a step towards raising awareness. Teachers can have profound effects on the lives of their students. By encouraging students to seek help for themselves or for friends or by giving them the tools to be a role model, teachers can aid in the fight against teen dating violence.

Use public events to raise awareness. Schools always have sports events, performances and other programs happening. Using these events to appear in front of a crowd with a message can be an effective way to raise awareness in your school. Getting permission to give a quick message at the halftime of a sports game or the intermission of a play is an opportunity to let people know about teen dating abuse. If possible, organizing an event during February specifically for Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month can be a fun, informative event to spark interest. This event could include games, performances, speakers, art shows and anything in between.

Get your local community leaders involved. This can be as easy as sending a letter or making a phone call. Politicians have heavy influence on everyday life, whether that be by signing legislation or making public statements. By gaining the support of your local politicians, you can attract more attention to your cause. Call your local city hall or school board and ask to speak at the next meeting on behalf of your school. Show the community what your school has done to spread the message.

Raising awareness in your school begins with your efforts. There are many sources to help start the fight against dating violence. Every peer in your school deserves the right to be in a healthy relationship, and you never know who you could help this February.

Making a Movie with a Message

Can your phone shoot video? What about your computer — does it have a built-in camera? If so, check out what one teen did to make Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM) more meaningful for his community.

Young filmmaker Jordan Coleman is using his love of movies to speak out about dating abuse during TDVAPM. Jordan, a 16-year-old from Hackensack, New Jersey, is the writer and director of “Payin’ the Price,” a feature length film which focuses on teen dating abuse.

Two years ago, when Chris Brown made headlines for abusing Rihanna, Jordan was moved by all of the coverage of the incident. It was then that he was inspired to create this film about teen dating abuse and its effect on individuals and communities.

“Everyone had an opinion about what happened between Chris and Rihanna,” Jordan said in an interview with Nick Chiles, hosted on Denene Millner’s blog, My Brown Baby. “The incident brought teen dating violence into American homes like never before.”

For him, this was the perfect opportunity to mesh his passion for filmmaking with his passion for making a difference in the community. Today, Jordan is preparing to embark on a 20-city national tour showcasing his project. He hopes that this film will ignite a national dialogue.

Jordan Coleman is a perfect example of a teen using his resources to promote awareness about dating abuse. He used his own time, money and creativity to make an awesome, awareness-raising movie. Using artistic expression — be it writing a poem, painting a picture or writing a song — is a way to convey personal feelings about a topic to a larger audience.

You could make a movie like Jordan did. It doesn’t have to be as large-scale — you can make a two-minute clip and post it to YouTube. Most digital cameras, cell phones and computers now have video cameras built in so it’s easy to make your own film. You can even film yourself or your friends simply talking about the issue, post the video to YouTube or Vimeo and then share it through Facebook. Check out some of our videos to get some ideas for your own.

We want to know how you’re bringing awareness to dating abuse. How are you spreading the word and participating in TDVAPM?

Inside the Advocate's Studio: Kenny, Part 2

As tiring as it is, training is going excellently. We are constantly moving forward. The people training us are fantastic at what they do. They’re passionate and loving and strong, not to mention incredibly gifted. Everyone is working as a powerful team against abuse. If I were someone seeking help, loveisrespect would be my first place to go.

I learned a lot about the resources available to people – adults and teens – looking for help. I, as an advocate, will be ready and able to connect you to any kind of resource, and that is pretty cool. Not only is it my job to do that, but I’m also so happy to do it. I’m slowly catching onto the fact that the people here are so happy with their work, even if it is a little stressful at times.

Learning how to talk to callers and chatters has been one of the more challenging aspects of the training. It’s tough to think on my feet, even if I’m just on a pretend call. The advocates I’ve met and seen in action do it so naturally that it’s weird to think I might be on their level someday.

I’ve also realized how vital friends and family can be to someone in an unhealthy relationship. Those are the people we go to the most, so if they know how to help they can be an invaluable resource. Friends and family of victims call often looking for advice on how to help someone they love. It’s inspiring that they’re courageous enough to stand up for their friend.

I still feel like there’s so much more to learn. I’ll keep you posted on my training, but feel free to call, text or chat with us 24/7!

Love Is Respect: February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

Washington, DC, Feb. 14, 2012 — Regardless of the day or month, many teens – including college students – often find themselves in unhealthy, sometimes abusive relationships that affect their quality of life, cause pain and concern among their families and friends, and interfere with school and community activities. Now is the time to learn about ways to recognize and prevent this violence.

During February, designated as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, we join President Obama to call for a focused effort to break the cycle of violence by providing support and services to the victims, their families and their communities. As President Obama stated:

Research indicates that teens and young women are especially vulnerable to experiencing violence in their relationships. In one year, nearly one in ten high school students has been hit, slapped or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend. And young people ages 18 and 19 experience the highest rates of stalking, which most often is committed by a current or former intimate partner for both male and female victims. The prevalence of violence in the dating relationships of teens is simply unacceptable.

We know that to reach young people, we need to speak their language. With that idea in mind, OVW is supporting outreach and education efforts by educators, advocates, and non-profits, including the That’s Not Cool.com, a national public education campaign that uses digital examples of controlling, pressuring, and threatening behavior to raise awareness about and prevent teen dating abuse. OVW also funds the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474. Teens can also text “loveis” to 22522 to reach an advocate or chat on line by clicking on the icon found on loveisrespect.org.

We must continue to advocate for the young people in our lives by providing safe spaces to have conversations about dating abuse and provide examples of healthy, violence-free relationships that include support, love and respect. Only by continuing to engage in discussions on these challenging and difficult issues can we call attention to teen dating violence. This is the first step towards preventing and ending the cycle of abuse. The resources listed in the President’s proclamation and in this blog are important resources that should be used, shared and discussed during February and throughout the year.

A Love Letter For Friends

With Valentine’s Day come and gone, the love bug is still extremely contagious. But some of us won’t be bit this year, and we’ll be spending the day celebrating a different kind of love — friendship. We want to take a minute and celebrate awesome friends and the ways that they make our lives better just by being in them.

Friends are the family we get to choose. They are the people who have seen us at our best and our worst and support us through it all.

A friend is someone who will call you out privately when you’re wrong, but will stand by you in public. You can tell your buddies anything, ask them any question and know that they’ll be honest with you.

They are your sounding board and you know that they’ll never let you make a fool out of yourself or make a bad decision — at least without telling you that that’s what you’re going to do.

When you need advice, your friends are there to listen and help you figure out what the right move is. They can help you think through even the most complicated situation and make a good decision about what action to take.

They are there to celebrate the beginning of a relationship with you. They listen to you brag about your new love interest and retell the same stories over and over again.

And if the relationship is unhealthy, your friends watch out for you. They’ll speak up and let you know if they think that something isn’t right. In an abusive relationship, your friends can be so important. They can support you while you’re experiencing the abuse and help you leave the relationship if that’s what you decide to do.

If you are in a relationship and it ends, your friends are always there to lift you up when you’re down. The will watch bad movies with you, take you out and introduce you to new friends to get your mind off of your break up. They will make you laugh and build you up to make you feel better. They will help you through it.

Your friends are there for you no matter what. They love and support you through everything and will always have your back.

So if you flew solo this Valentine’s Day, think about spending some time this week with your other soul mates — your BFF’s.

Share this with a friend who makes you feel loved and supported. Thank them for being a good friend to you and promise to return the kindness. Share stories of friends who have helped you through rough times in the comment field below.

Is Your Valentine Right for You?

Happy Valentine’s Day! We hope you have a fun day and are reminded that you are special in many people’s lives. You may be excited to show someone special that happy valentine's day

you’re thinking of them. On this day that celebrates love and all things romantic, take a second and ask yourself — is your Valentine is right for you?

Being in love is beautiful and wonderful and fun — especially when it’s with the right person.

This Valentine’s Day take a second to evaluate your partner and make sure that they are who you want to be with. It’s OK if they aren’t, and if that’s the case then you can check out our helpful tips to make a break up go over smoothly.

Remember: you deserve to be loved and respected by someone who makes you feel appreciated. So, do Cupid a favor and make sure you’re with the right person on Valentine’s Day.

We have Valentine’s to give you. Print these below and share them with your friends.

Disturbing Reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys

For us, the most jaw-dropping moments of the Grammy Awards didn’t happen at the award show. Sure, there were some strange and memorable performances, but we were more captivated by what happened in the Twittersphere in response to Chris Brown’s performances.

Today, BuzzFeed shared the 25 most disturbing reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys. The article highlighted 25 tweets that talked about how willing women were to be abused by Chris if it meant that they also got to be with him.

One girl tweeted, “I don’t know why Rihanna complained. Chris Brown could beat me anytime he wanted to.” Another shared, “Dude, Chris Brown can punch me in the face as much as he wants to, just as long as he kisses it.”

Joking or not, these comments minimize the pain felt by victims of dating abuse. Statements like these perpetuate the myth that dating abuse isn’t a big deal. No one wants, or deserves, to be in an abusive relationship.

Young victims of dating abuse are afraid to share their stories and get help for a number of reasons, one of which is that they may not be believed or supported. If we talk like this with our friends, then we are sending a message that we don’t take abuse seriously. This discourages our friends from coming to us for help or being open about their situation.

We want to be clear that our reaction to this has nothing to do with Chris Brown. We are not ok with these comments because they create a hurtful, insensitive environment for any victims of abuse.

This is an opportunity for education. We encourage you to share the BuzzFeed article with your friends and help us spread the word that minimizing the pain of victims and survivors is not right.

Louder Than Words

On Wednesday, we had our official launch event, Louder Than Words, to officially announce the partnership between the National Dating Abuse Helpline and Break the Cycle. Check out the snapshot of the event. A major thanks to all of the people who made this event possible. Special thanks to Ashley Greene and all of our presenters/performers, as well as all of our sponsors: m.powerment by Mark., Blue Cross Blue Shield, Love Is Not Abuse, Verizon and Hopeline From Verizon.

The History of Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

February is nationally recognized as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM). During the month, people around the nation participate in activities that promote education and awareness about teen dating abuse. This is a crucial time to talk openly about healthy and unhealthy relationships, warning signs and what we can do to lessen the frequency of dating abuse.

According to the CDC, one in four teens will experience dating abuse during this coming year.

If we know the signs of dating abuse, then we can recognize it when we, or a friend or family member, experiences it. If we feel comfortable talking about healthy relationships, then we will be empowered to be respectful partners and speak out when things aren’t right. If we know what resources are available, then we can guide a friend or even ourselves to help if and when we need it.

Education, awareness and intervention are key to stopping dating abuse. February is a chance to increase all three.

In the 1980s, domestic violence advocates nationwide began uniting to end abuse against women and children during Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). The purpose of DVAM is to mourn those who have died because of domestic violence, to celebrate those who have survived and to connect those who work to end domestic violence. DVAM is celebrated in October.

So how did teen dating violence get its own month? Teens have their own unique challenges when it comes to dating abuse.

Teens may not have very much dating experience and so they base their ideas of dating norms on pop-culture relationships which, as we all know, are rarely good examples. Most teens are attending the same school or live in the same area as their abusive partner which means that it’s difficult for them to avoid seeing them (but not impossible… check out our post on How to Best Avoid an Abusive Ex). It’s also difficult for teens to speak out about abusive relationships because they may feel reluctant to speak candidly with adults who they do not trust. For most teens, the first people they will turn to when they are being abused are their friends.

In 2006, the national government officially recognized the first week in February as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week. In 2010, Congress announced that the entire month of February would be deemed National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.

Anyone! Students, teachers, community members, business owners, local, state and even national government officials can all do their part to end dating abuse. We’ll be posting ideas all throughout the month for what you can do to get involved.

Do you have any ideas for what you might do this February? Please share in the comment section below.

Inside the Advocate's Studio: Samantha

Advocacy training has been an astoundingly eye-opening experience for me. I don’t think that I really knew what to expect going in.

It’s definitely involved a lot of self-discovery. I guess in learning to deal with domestic violence I’ve been learning a lot about how I deal with people in everyday life, how I look at the world and even how I deal with myself.

I don’t think that I ever really realized how much a single person can influence another person’s life. If I did, I never realized that I could be that influential person.

It’s incredibly beautiful and moving and inspirational to me that just by being there, listening and providing information I can make a tangible difference in the life of someone who is in crisis.

I guess one of the biggest things that has stuck with me throughout the training sessions is how sometimes people may not know that there are options. I think educating them about abuse and empowering them to choose from the options that are available really opens doors.

But you can’t just tell people that they are in an abusive relationship because sometimes they don’t want to hear that. So we learn a lot about “meeting them where they are” – meaning not pushing them to leave if they don’t want to. The trainers like to say that people are the experts in their own situations, and I think that that is totally true.

To gauge where they are you have to really listen to them, and we learn and talk a lot about actively listening. I think it’s actually really challenging to just listen to people and not formulate opinions or try to think ahead to what you’re going to say next or try to compare their situation to yours. You have to really focus on what they are saying.

When you do this, and you don’t put yourself into the conversation, you can find a much deeper level of discussion. If you take a step back and let them talk through their feelings something amazing happens – they come to their own conclusions without you having offered any advice. It’s quite beautiful.

It’s actually really cool that I’m able to sit through the trainings – they are extremely informative and I’m learning a lot. I’m really looking forward to going through the rest of training and finding out even more.

Discussing the “Break” in Spring Break: How to Vacation Apart